I Blamed the Victim (a parable)

Edward walks through my town carrying a whip. Every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, he makes us go in the whip house and make whips. It’s important that we make these whips because society would fall apart with out these whips. Plus, every week Edward takes some of the whips, sells them, and throws us a party.

Ronald, who works beside me, is a doctor. One day he didn’t show up to make whips because he wanted to earn more money to help out one of his patients. Edward came to find Ronald and make sure that he went to the whip house. Ronald was upset that Edward was going to whip him for not working, and whipped Edward. Edward was harsher than I’ve ever seen him and Ronald ended up in the hospital. Ronald was upset because Edward would whip him if he didn’t make whips. Edward was worried that other people would also not want to make whips so he had to be harsh on Ronald.

How could we have a party if Edward didn’t have these whips to sell? Well, after Ronald’s outburst Edward was worried that someone else would attack Edward like Ronald did. So Edward hired Frank to be his bodyguard, and carry a whip too. Frank was big, strong man, who was not as smart as Edward. One time I walked toward Frank to ask him a question and he lashed me across the cheek. Now, I try my best to stay away from Frank. It’s a good thing that we have Frank though, because if more people didn’t make whips then Edward couldn’t throw us a party. We now have parties only three times a month, so that Edward can afford Frank. It’s a good thing we have Frank though

One Friday night I overheard some people chatting.

I heard Sara say “Edward is a mad man.”
“Oh, but Frank is worse.” Ted said in a harsh voice.
Sara’s husband noted “If we all didn’t work for Ed than he wouldn’t have any whips to whip us with.”

Most of the people talking were quite respectable people, but Ted who thinks that Edward is part of a secret society that is secretly trying to kill everyone. Once I asked him who was in this society. He said Edward, Frank, and other famous people some of whom were dead. Then Ted started to tell me some things that didn’t really make sense. I smiled and said that was interesting, and tried to end the conversation. To this day I doubt Ted’s intelligence.

The truth was that Ed and Frank were in an organization, and it wasn’t secret but it wasn’t advertised. Ed and Frank belonged to the national union of order and parties. This union wanted to hire a bodyguard for Edward before Frank was hired. Frank was also a member before he was hired.

The next Monday the twenty I overheard in that room didn’t show up to make whips. Most people didn’t notice, but some people asked Edward where they were. Edward said that that wasn’t important, and that he would look into it. The next day Edward came with Ted and lashed him so that we all could see. Ted screamed about some secret society that we didn’t know existed. It was difficult to understand what Ted was thinking. Then a funny thing happened. I could see that Edward was whipping Ted, and Edward hadn’t whipped anyone, but I blamed Ted for his plight.

Giuliani, our best hope for terrorism

Giuliani made great gains for terrorism today. Last week, Rudy Giuliani was accused of not having read the 9/11 reports. This tacitly raised the question; will Giuliani admit to misspeaking? It has now become clear that he is firm in his view that Terrorists want to attack Americans because of their freedoms.

This week, Giuliani unveiled his war on freedom inspired terrorism. His plan would first divert American forces to the Netherlands, claiming that the Dutch are the “most free in the world, and a prime target for terrorist attracts.” Giuliani’s plan also includes calls for attacks on, Iceland, New Zealand, and provisional plans to attack Estonia. “It is important to stay on the offensive with freedoms in Estonia quickly on the rise” He argues.

This new plan has had a negative reception by all Dutch except Dirk Denington who defended his position by stating “If you’re not with Giuliani, you’re with the terrorists.” Giuliani then sought support for his plan, over English Muffins, from John McCain and Mitt Romney. McCain criticized his plan because it does not go far enough, by ignoring Iran, Ireland, and recalling that Japan allowed an anarchist to actually speak on television. “Japan has allowed people to speak too freely on the air,” McCain has been quoted as saying.

Romney’s reaction to Giuliani’s plan was more receptive, but he was promptly shot by Giuliani. Giuliani noticed that Romney was buttering his English muffin on wrong side. "Romney’s activity was quite suspicious, he may have been involved in terrorist activities" claimed Rudy. President Bush has defended Rudy’s murderous act, promising a pardon.

Bush then went on to knight Rudy for his “noble and valiant” deed. White House aids released a statement saying that, “Rudy has shown great strength in a time of crisis.
He will be appointed as the next president of the United States.”

During a White House press conference George Bush was combative and offered curt answers to the press. An excerpt of the transcript in below:

Q: Do you think this action is consistent with our republic?

Bush: I am the decider, and I have decided

Q: Would you comment on the democrats that will try to block your action?

Bush: This action is necessary to protect our children. Do you want your children to die?

Q: What about charges that this action is unconstitutional?
Bush: I gonna[sic] use that HOMELAND SECURITY PRESIDENTIAL DIRECTIVE that my staff just wrote. Just the thought that those backwards butterers[sic] have infiltrated the election process means this action is necessary for the continuity of the American government.