Monday, May 28, 2007

Giuliani, our best hope for terrorism

Giuliani made great gains for terrorism today. Last week, Rudy Giuliani was accused of not having read the 9/11 reports. This tacitly raised the question; will Giuliani admit to misspeaking? It has now become clear that he is firm in his view that Terrorists want to attack Americans because of their freedoms.

This week, Giuliani unveiled his war on freedom inspired terrorism. His plan would first divert American forces to the Netherlands, claiming that the Dutch are the “most free in the world, and a prime target for terrorist attracts.” Giuliani’s plan also includes calls for attacks on, Iceland, New Zealand, and provisional plans to attack Estonia. “It is important to stay on the offensive with freedoms in Estonia quickly on the rise” He argues.

This new plan has had a negative reception by all Dutch except Dirk Denington who defended his position by stating “If you’re not with Giuliani, you’re with the terrorists.” Giuliani then sought support for his plan, over English Muffins, from John McCain and Mitt Romney. McCain criticized his plan because it does not go far enough, by ignoring Iran, Ireland, and recalling that Japan allowed an anarchist to actually speak on television. “Japan has allowed people to speak too freely on the air,” McCain has been quoted as saying.

Romney’s reaction to Giuliani’s plan was more receptive, but he was promptly shot by Giuliani. Giuliani noticed that Romney was buttering his English muffin on wrong side. "Romney’s activity was quite suspicious, he may have been involved in terrorist activities" claimed Rudy. President Bush has defended Rudy’s murderous act, promising a pardon.

Bush then went on to knight Rudy for his “noble and valiant” deed. White House aids released a statement saying that, “Rudy has shown great strength in a time of crisis.
He will be appointed as the next president of the United States.”

During a White House press conference George Bush was combative and offered curt answers to the press. An excerpt of the transcript in below:

Q: Do you think this action is consistent with our republic?

Bush: I am the decider, and I have decided

Q: Would you comment on the democrats that will try to block your action?

Bush: This action is necessary to protect our children. Do you want your children to die?

Q: What about charges that this action is unconstitutional?
Bush: I gonna[sic] use that HOMELAND SECURITY PRESIDENTIAL DIRECTIVE that my staff just wrote. Just the thought that those backwards butterers[sic] have infiltrated the election process means this action is necessary for the continuity of the American government.

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